At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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