Kiss
Puke
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
