Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i out mim tonsoeep
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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