Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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