Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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