i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize