I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize