So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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