We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
