I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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