peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
