careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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