Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
