Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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