dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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