im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
