therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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