i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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