No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
