So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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