girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I didn't notice because vodka
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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