Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
