He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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