I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
