I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
