dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
