Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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