i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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