Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
