well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
