after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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