My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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