Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just high enough for therapy.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
