I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
