The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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