i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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