Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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