no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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