nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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