Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize