tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
