We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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