did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
