shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize