don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
there is glitter all over my balls
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