you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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