I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
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This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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