if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize