Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize