He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
