i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
