evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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