awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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