We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
