I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think your dad took our porno
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
