Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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