So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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