just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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