Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
