I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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